In the Motherhood: A good idea falls flat

Photo courtesy of lilsugar.com

The Good:
In the Motherhood is a new comedy series that premiered on ABC last Thursday. It's getting some pretty bad reviews. Which is too bad. I think the entire idea for the show is great! A show about mom's who aren't rich, beautiful, and having affairs with the pool boy (Desperate Housewives style). And one of the women has a MANNY! That's right, a male nanny. I can hear the double standards starting to crack!

The show is based on the online series Motherhood (which has since been discontinued). Episodes were inspired by stories sent in by single moms. I LOVE this idea. The show becomes realistic. Mom's can totally relate. They don't feel they are the only ones failing at motherhood. This interactive web show gave women a voice. I was happy to see this concept transcend into the television show.

The Bad:
But the Writers Guild of America is pissed off. Women are basically writing the show through their story submissions, but are receiving no compensation. ABC says they will receive a screen credit. But according to the WGA, that's not enough. These women deserve at least $7, 000 for each story that makes it to air.

Instead of paying these women, ABC has decided to just scrap the whole idea altogether. Women can still submit their stories on the show's website, but they won't be used on the show.

The Ugly:
So what's left? A television show that is written by people who probably don't know anything about being a single mom and yet another online community for single moms.

I think ABC should hire a few of these women that submitted stories as consultants. At least there will still be a real mom's voice somewhere in the show. I also think they should fire the three actresses that are starring in this show (Cheryl Hines, Megan Mullally and Jessica St. Clair). Why don't they hire the original two women from the Web series (Leah Remini and Chelsea Handler)? There is already a big fan base for the old web series. Maybe people will watch if they see the actors they know are funny in this context.

But if this doesn't happen, I'd say ABC will probably cancel In the Motherhood after six episodes (which is all they have been signed to produce). How long would you give it?

America's Next Top Model (aka: The Machine of Conformity)

Photo courtesy of netmen

Tyra Banks is such a hypocrite.

On The Tyra Banks Show, she talks about accepting your body the way it is and encourages women to look past the stereotype of conventional beauty. This conversation continues on her website where women discuss their struggles with self-confidence.

Switch the channel to America's Next Top Model, and Tyra's preaching a whole different philosophy. The contestants are a direct reflection of the conventional beauty standards. Skinny, tall, perfect skin, etc. Auditions for the new season is already causing controversy. Tyra says she wants to see more diversity and will make the height and weight requirement flexible. The official ANTM application says that "Producers reserve the right to make case-by-case exceptions...[and] are looking for a variety of models, including plus size models."

But a woman who went to the audition says they weren't even going to see people who didn't meet the requirement:

"I PERSONALLY went to the auditions in St. Louis FIVE DAYS AGO. And I am 5'8". They did NOT allow case-by-case exceptions!!!!! After standing in line for an hour looking amazing, a woman with a loud speaker came out and frankly told those who aren't 5'7" and under to, "Get out." and she also said, "Even if you're 5'7" and a half we wont see you so you might as well go home.""

Even the women who do make it on the show are cleansed of anything that makes them look different. It's like the show is a machine they put women through so that they reflect the stereotype of a beautiful woman. Watch my podcast to find out more about ANTM contestants being forced to conform:

Hot Cougars and Ugly Sugar Daddies

Berry/Aubry photo courtesy of candykirby

It seems more and more successful women are dating younger men. Which is fine...but it is generating a new double standard. A rich older woman must look just as hot as her young new boy toy (aka: "the cougar"). Whereas a rich older man can look his age (pot belly, bald spots, wrinkles) and still get a hot, young girl (aka "the sugar daddy").

Some examples of older women dating (or married to) younger men are:
-Madonna (50) and Jesus Luz (22)
-Demi Moore (46) and Ashton Kutcher (30)
-Hallie Berry(43) and Gabriel Aubry (33).

Now compare those couples with older men dating (or married to) younger women:
-James Woods (60) and Ashley Madison (21)
-Rene Angelil (67) and Celine Dion (40)
-Michael Douglas( 63) and Catherine Zeta Jones (39)

The older women are just as hot as the younger men. But the older men are no where near as hot as the younger women. So I ask you: Why is this?

I will dismiss any suggestion that these hot young women date ugly older men only for their money, and therefore do not care about looks. Young men date older women for money as well, yet they do not have to have sex with wrinkly, fat women.

Here's my theory: Women feel they must look young and sexy at every age...even in relationships where looks are of secondary importance (money being the first). Men feel this pressure too- but it is eases the older they get. Men are allowed to age and show their "natural beauty"...even when they are under the media's spotlight.

Angelil/Dion photo courtesy of gaabiiziinhaa

Female Anchors: How they REALLY got to the top

Photo courtesy of KUSI TV


Women are starting to take over the news desk! Hooray! But wait a minute...it's not their excellent journalism skills that got them there!

It seems women are being promoted to anchor because viewers are "more willing to accepts news from a young woman." So the population's mentality about women is starting to change. People are finally taking female journalists seriously....or at least that is what I would like to think. Here are some of the more realistic reasons behind these recent promotions:

1.People probably just prefer looking at a young women than an old man. Even though young women are saying the same thing as the previous anchorman, women can sustain people's attention for a longer period of time. Because even if the news is incredibly slow, at least people have something pretty to look at.

2. News organizations want to differentiate themselves from the competition. They want to stand out from the traditional news format. But what will happen onces almost every news organization has female anchors? Will it become the new tradition and have news agencies reverting back to men in order to be different?

3. News organizations were running out of men. Many of the high-profile male anchors are retiring or being let go. News organizations just can't afford to pay their expensive contracts. And there are plenty of hard-working, (and probably desperate) female journalists waiting in line behind them for a lot less!

But regardless of how these women got promoted, the point is....THEY GOT PROMOTED TO ANCHOR! This is the first step to letting the world see how amazing these women are as journalists. Eventually, they will gain credibility and people will start listening to them rather than criticizing their hairstyles.

Female Role Models are Changing

Photo courtesy of Army.mil

Michelle Obama will be speaking to students at 11 schools in Washington, DC as part of her celebration of Women's History Month. A few celebrities will also be speaking, such as Alicia Keys, Sheryl Crow and (if you can call her a celebrity) Fran Drescher.

The women will encourage the children to stay in school and get excited about their future. Other notable women, such as a famous female astronaut, an ambassador and a general in the US military, will also speak. I'm assuming this is to show the children that a woman's success is not based on the extent of her popularity in the entertainment industry (although the majority of guest speakers are actors, singers, makeup artists and television producers).

I think this event is quite remarkable. Women are represented as a diverse group of people. Women from all different races, ages and religions are taking part. It also makes successful women seem more of a reality rather than just an image they see in magazines. To hear Michelle Obama on television is quite different from hearing Michelle Obama speaking in your auditorium and looking into your eyes.

I hope young girls from these schools will see these women and change their idea of what a good female role model should be. Maybe they'll even start to turn off "Paris Hilton's My New BFF" and start watching CNN to get a glimpse of Michelle Obama.

I also hope the media will report on this event (other than Entertainment Tonight and Access Hollywood). These women are an inspiration to young girls not only in Washington, but all aorund the world.

Hip Hop Divas Dissin' the Double Standard

Photo Courtesy of netmen

Props to some hip hop divas who are challenging gender roles in society. I've seen an increase in hip hop songs that address the double standard women face when it comes to cheating on your partner. A woman is expected to look away or tolerate it more when a man cheats on her. Here are some of my favorite hip hop songs that refuse to stay silent in the face of infidelity:

1. Ciara's video "Like a Boy" looks at this issue. Ciara actually dresses like a man and wonders whether the "rules would change up or would they still apply" when it comes to love.

2.Beyonce's "If I were a boy" takes a different approach. Here, Beyonce actually becomes her cheating boyfriend by taking on his role in society. She acts like a man but looks like a woman. It perfectly demonstrates this double standard!

3.Rihanna's "Breaking Dishes" smashes the double standard. Here, Rihanna doesn't tolerate her boyfriend's mysterious behavior. She becomes violent! Not the typical response one would expect from a woman.

4. The Pussycat Dolls (feat Missy Elliott) make an attempt at attacking this issue in "Whatcha Think About That". They talk about gender reversal, but unfortunately they reinforce traditional gender roles in their video. My favorite part is when Missy Elliott says, "You wear that dress and I'll put on your slacks." But the Pussycat Dolls are dancing around in their underwear grinding polls and swinging on swings. What?!

Update on Rihanna Post

Photo Courtesy of Eka Eka Eka Eka

Just a quick update since my post about Rihanna and how the media wasn't talking about the bigger issue. It's been about two weeks since TMZ broke the story, but one show has finally taken the opportunity to discuss domestic violence.

Oprah dedicated an entire show today on this very important topic. Tyra Banks co-hosted the show. I was surprised to hear Tyra recount her own experiences with domestic abuse and violent relationships. The show included several tips for women suffering from this issue and personal stories from women from all across the US. Oprah echoed my thoughts on the issue: "It's not about attacking anyone. It's about taking the moment for us to grow."

Has anyone seen anything else in the media addressing this issue? Is the media finally looking past the scandal and starting to take action?

Health Knows No Gender

Photo courtesy of The Sun

According to a CNN report, women choose how 88% of every disposable dollar is spent. It's obvious. Women love to shop.

But the report also found that 65% of women between the ages of 35 and 40 felt ads were patronizing and 50% felt they were old-fashioned. So why are advertisers offending their best customers by reinforcing gender stereotypes?

Many of these ads depict women as a version of the "hot babe". This has obviously created pressure for women to be thin...which is is great news for low-calorie food companies. Ads for one company actually help other companies sell their product. Since women think they need to lose weight in order to meet the media's standards, they turn to healthier foods. So it's no surprise that ads for this type of food targets women. But everyone should eat healthy. Why is steak and fries seen more as a "man's meal" and a salad as more of a "woman's meal".

Check out my podcast that includes a few examples and my "commercial remix".

International Women's Day in Montreal

Photo Courtesy of Immer_Lebend

Happy International Women's Day everyone! This year's theme: Women and men united to end violence against women and girls. (Apparently Rihanna will not be participating).

But it seems this important day is losing popularity in Quebec. About 250 people participated in the IWD march today in Montreal. That's about half the number of people who participated in last year's events (which took place in the middle of a snowstorm). But there was a lot more children attending this year's march. Many mothers brought their daughters to encourage a new generation to fight for gender rights as well. Although some seemed too young to understand most of the heated issues that were discussed such as the Tamils' situation in Sri Lanka.

Other political issues managed to infiltrate the women's march. In addition to speaking out against gender inequality, some women (including the organizers of the march) chose to speak out against the government's attempt to ban masked protests. I suppose masked protests could be viewed as a violation of women's rights, but the ban applies to both genders. So it seems like the march may have been an excuse to preach other political issues that are only somewhat related to this event.

For others, IWD is going commercial. In some countries, men honor women by giving them presents. (Although in China, women usually receive aprons, detergent and brooms as gifts). Some Montreal businesses are trying to promote this gift-giving tradition. Some florists are advertising beautiful bouquets especially for IWD. But women don't want flowers, they want equality!

Though Canada is still one of the top countries who hold the greatest number of events to celebrate this day, I fear the significance of IWD may be dwindling in Quebec. There are so many other political issues going on in this province that sometimes overshadow other issues. Protests and rallies are also very common in Quebec, so the IWD march may have trouble making an impact on a public that is becoming increasingly insensitive to opposition.

Act Helpless and He Will Come

Photo courtesy of kissmestace.com

Comedian Steve Harvey just released his book Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man: What men really think about love, relationships, intimacy, and commitment. Basically he tells women to pretend they are unable to do certain everyday tasks and allow men to do it for them. This allows the men to "feel like a man". Apparently, men need to feel like they are needed. The notion that men are the ones who provide for and protect their woman is deeply engrained in their minds.

But there's a new generation of women who are sick of playing this game. They are strong, smart and independent. They refuse to demean their intelligence to attract men. I am one of them. But let me be clear. I think it is romantic when a man opens the car door for me or gives me his coat when I'm cold. But I never act like I am unable to take care of myself. I'm a grown woman afterall. I see this a lot when I go to parties. A man will hand me a beer and twist it open for me. Is this romantic or is he assuming I am unable to do this on my own, thus fulfilling his need to be needed?

In an interview, Harvey goes further and says women don't have a choice but to act this way if they want to find a man. "It's great that women are upwardly mobile now. I think that a woman would love to have a shoulder to lean on, love to have a strong male figure around, but you've got to allow that to happen in your life. If you're going to portray that you don't need a man, that's not really going to attract any men." Oh really? Well I haven't had any trouble finding men. But maybe I'm an exception.

Are men intimidated by self-sufficient women? I don't think so. Because in the end, a relationship is about fulfilling a need for intimacy with another person. A need to feel like someone cares about you and is there for you no matter what. This doesn't mean being there to change a light bulb or open a jar. This means having someone there to listen to you when you're pissed off or to hold you when you're sad.

I think, above all, MEN are the ones who need this from women. Men don't express their emotions with male friends, but feel more open to this communication with women. I don't think men realize how much emotional support a woman provides a man. And this is far more important than opening a car door!